MY WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY

Day 2 of this writing challenge. It is a challenge, too. Maybe I should have started in the morning when I was fresh and had no time to be depressed yet. Now in mid afternoon, I am tired and stuck on my treadmill of thinking and thinking. I’m reminded of Portia Nelson’s poem, There’s a Hole in the Street. There’s a hole in the street and I’m in it.

It’s not that I’m just sitting and thinking. I’m tapping on my keyboard and sipping peppermint and ginger tea. I think I will take a tylenol to rid this overthinking headache. I’m not crying, Oh poor me! Really I’m not but poor me anyways. This is not where I want to be in life right now. But it is where I am. I better just suck it up.

I love Pema Chodron. I love her book When Things Fall Apart, Heart Advice for Difficult Times. I love her quotes.

“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”

“Rather than letting our negativity get the better of us, we could acknowledge that right now we feel like a piece of shit and not squeamish about taking a good look.”

Our whole world falls apart, and we’ve been give this great opportunity.  However, we don’t trust our basic wisdom mind enough to let it stay like that.  Our habitual reaction is to want to get ourselves back—even our anger, resentment, fear, or bewilderment.  So we re-create our solid, immovable personality as if we were Michelangelo chiseling ourselves out of marble.”

“We don’t set out to save the world; we set out to wonder how other people are doing and to reflect on how our actions affect other people’s hearts.”

I do feel as if I’ve fallen in that hole. I’ve been going down that same damn street forever. Now I don’t even have Sheba to keep me company. Yes, I do feel that my world has fallen apart. Nothing stays the same forever. I shall use this window of opportunity to find a new street to walk.

 

 

 

10 thoughts on “MY WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY

  1. For some reason, I always enjoy your articles in a strange sort of way. Perhaps it is in letting me know that no matter what is going on in my life, things are not really that bad. Have you given any thought about visiting a rescue center and finding a slightly older or abused dog in need of a loving home? I have rescue dogs and cats that give me so much love. They warm my heart just when I need it the most. They need love and when you rescue them from the pound they never forget it. Just a thought I wanted to share with you.

    1. We are thinking of getting another dog in the fall. I’ve found an 8 year old looking and sounding just like Sheba. I’m not quite ready yet to let go of Sheba right now and 8 is maybe too old. Not wanting to lose another that soon. I’m really better than I sound in writing. 🙂 Just stressed by never ending harassment from the neighbour. Hard to explain. You have to live it. I really love my home so not willing to sell and move.

    1. Thank you, Cindy. I’m still grieving for my dog. I lost her on May 16th. And my neighbour has been harassing me over how my yard looks and the property line. And the weather is weird today, changing between clouds and sun. I’m susceptible. Usually I’m better than this.

  2. Your yard is looking beautiful! When my grandson was down and walking the same street, I told him to find a new one and don’t look back. I hope you find a street filled with beautiful flowers and smiles.

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