There’s no denying myself. I am what I am though I would like to be a little different. I would like to be more organized, tidier, more timely, more mellow, more energetic, more of many things. I said I would like to be. I did not say I aspire. If I did, I would be more successful than just wishing for. One does not get by yearning. One must do.

I must learn to aspire to do whatever I wish for. Or else I must accept my repeated echoes of my daily failures – wishing for a different outcome by doing the same thing. It is what Dr. Phil and other head doctors call insanity. It seems simple enough. Change what I do. But is it that simple? So easy to fall back into the default mode, doing the same old, same old. What to do next?

It would help to make a list of changes I want to see. Make one change at a time and work on it for a week. Then add another change and work on it for a week. And so on and on. I must get on it tomorrow and make my list. Then proceed from there, building one thing at a time and adding on. I can do it. The alternative is living in daily disarray, wasting time and energy looking and searching for things, trying to get on top of the game, feeling guilty, feeling incompetitent, feeling lousy, feeling d-r-a-g-g-e-d out. You get the picture.

I aspire to be organized, tidy, focused and on top of things so I can relax and have some nothing times. I aspire to have some empty times when I’m not thinking of ‘doing’ constantly. The only time I’m not doing is 20 minutes in the morning when I’m meditating. I want MORE. There! The end of day 19 of UBC and another video featuring Sheba.

6 thoughts on “THE WAY I AM

  1. Lily…according to Robin Sharma it takes 66 days to ingrain a habit. And that’s if you practice it every day for that period of time. I am working on developing some good habits of my own too. I aspire to all those aspirations you have also. We can do this! BTW…I like your videos.

  2. According to what I read, you can instill a new habit in 21 days. I would work on one at a time if I were inclined to go about working on a plan to change any of the many things I want to change in my life. I usually start with my morning meditation at about 4:30 a.m. and then work on myself from 5 a.m. until the house starts to wake up at about 7:30. The thing is, there are so many things I want to do that I just work on one or two for a while then move along to enjoy other projects. Mellow comes with time. Energetic comes with coffee. Timely comes from experience. More organized, well, to be honest, I still haven’t figured that one out yet. Now as if there were not enough things on your plate, think about this, I can see a nice short book for kindle readers if you put all 31 of your articles together. So much of what you write about others can relate to and that is what makes a best seller.

    1. I like 21 days to set a habit better than 66 days. 4:30 am seems so early. I get up between 6 and 7. You must be very disciplined. That stretch of quiet sounds very appealing though. Someone else have suggested that I put some my posts into a booklet. It sounds like a lot of work. Thanks for thinking that they are of interest. It’s generous of you. If I get a stretch of time, I might put them into a folder of sort and see.


  3. Lily, a young teacher once told me that the time she spent on teaching was not sustainable. She complained that her house was a mess and she just couldn’t find the time to tidy it. I told her she could have a tidy house – or she could teach. But I couldn’t see any way to have both. She chose teaching.
    I’ve recently given myself the same advice – I could have a tidy house – or I could write. I chose ‘writing’.
    The remnants of my life are scattered throughout my sewing corner, my writing corner, and my teaching corner (I teach technology to seniors). Oh, and then there’s my painting corner and my music corner.
    When I am drawing my last breath, I certainly don’t want to be just leaving a legacy of a tidy house. I want to be remembered for a lot more!
    PS – Your sewing table looks awesome!

    1. There’s a lot of truth and wisdom in what you say, Maureen. But sometimes my clutter hurts my head, especially the paper stuff. I need to do regular clearing. I feel so much better seeing my dining room table with nothing on it. I have to find another basket for my desk clutter. Keeping things contained and off the surfaces might be my answer.

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