It’s almost afternoon on day 3 of the new year and the Ultimate Blog Challenge. Already and still, I’m feeling the weight from the year past. My old self with my old attitudes are making their presence known. I feel crabby, mean and ugly. I’m like a leaky balloon losing hot air. I have no stamina, no power. I’m losing momentum, my wheels slowly grinding to a screeching halt. No more clickety clack. It’s chug, chug, screeeeech!

I’m no damn good, carrying this stuff around, feeling all this guilt. It’s too soon. Counting today, I have 28 more day to go. I have to lighten my load. I have to toss the garbage off the train. I have to save my fuel consumption, build my reserve, live and write smarter. What I don’t need is to carry other people’s stuff. So toss those out first. I remind myself that it’s not the people I’m tossing, it’s their stuff. It’s their business, not mine.

I have such a permeable skin. I absorb everyones’ woes and miseries as if they were my own. I need to develop a thicker skin. I have to learn not to take things so personally. Too bad I don’t feel their joy the same way. Instead, what I feel then is envy and jealousy. I am such a bad person. What a thing to confess, eh? I’m like George Washington. I can’t tell a lie. I’m brutally honest and not proud of it. I’m laying out all the facts in black and white so I can see myself clearly. So that I can accept what is here, what I have to work with. Do I have a full deck to work with?

It’s time to take a break, let go a little, loosen my grip and play a little. No need to be like a dog with a bone.




  1. Hi Lily,
    You have been blogging here for about eight years now and I am asking if you still feel the same as you did when you started blogging.
    Now that the train seems to be screeching to a halt, maybe now is the time to get off this train if it is not taking you a happier place.
    Ask yourself if there is a better way to travel from where you are now and think about how you will feel when you get to your new destination.
    It is always good to see familiar bloggers here so keep blogging on.

  2. Lily…I always like reading your posts. They take us on a very colorful journey through your thoughts. But, my dear Lily…you are very hard on yourself. You deserve to be happy and you also deserve to be nicer to yourself. Keep posting. I like seeing you here.

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