WILL YOU BE MY VALENTINE?

So yesterday was Valentines Day, the day of hearts and flowers. As with all other special occasions, I’m slightly out of step. Perhaps I’ve been looking at my half empty glass instead of the half full one. Let’s face it, no matter how you look at it, the glass is only half of what it could be. No matter how many cute quotes you come up with or how positive you are, there must have been times when you’ve felt half empty, haven’t there?

Oh, I know. I had an intention of changing my voice for this heart month of February. I still have that intention but I want to rid the narratives in my head and the questions in my heart. It is really hard to be not who I am. Maybe I should give up trying to sound like someone else. I am who I am, of Asian flavour – the sum total of my heritage, upbringing and western influence. I should examine how all these influences have affected who I am and how I have felt about myself.

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So it is three days post Valentines Day. I’m more out of step than I realize but I want to finish my conversation here. Life happens as they say. It’s gotten the best of me for now. I’m tired and lacking energy and drive. The well is dry. All I want to do the last couple of days is curl up with my blanket and watch Downton Abby on Netflix. Right now I want to fall asleep. I’ve lost heart in February. Ah! Sometimes the best laid plans do not work. I will throw up my hands and say, oh well and go to bed. Tomorrow is another day.

 

About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
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6 Responses to WILL YOU BE MY VALENTINE?

  1. Maureen says:

    Once again, your words are so powerful. I’m usually a positive, half-full person, but yes, there are fleeting moments when the glass drops below the half-way mark. In my case, those moments are rare, but I can understand how difficult it would be for others. Asian and Western cultures seem so far apart. I imagine it would be hard to bridge the great divide between them as you live in one, but belong in another. Another great post – thank you for sharing your thoughts.

  2. Jeanine Byers says:

    Indeed, tomorrow is another day! I think there are definitely days that call for Netflix and comfort blankets. That’s the essence of hygge, in a way, and I am big hygge fan. It doesn’t have to mean completely losing heart. In fact, tomorrow – whichever tomorrow it turns out to be – you might find yourself feeling reconnected to all things heart.

  3. Alice Gerard says:

    Valentine’s Day is challenging, and I am sorry that you lost heart. And winter is hard, too. So cold and so lacking in color! I hope that your tomorrow is better than your yesterday!

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