TO HEAR MYSELF

January 15, 2019  7:01 pm

January can be such a hard month. I probably can say that of every month. I am sure that I have. How else can you open a conversation? One needs a handle and that’s as good as any. That will teach me to wait till evening to do it. I walk around all day with so many ideas and thoughts in my head. They slowly disappear one by one. They’re all gone now.

If we’re sitting together around the fireplace, what would we talk about? It depends on who you are, of course. If we are good friends, very good friends, what would you tell me? How would we spend our time together? Would you just tell me what you think I want to hear? Would I do the same? No, if we’re very, very good friends, we would not have to worry. The conversation would just flow. We would not have to try. We would speak as one heart. We have that much trust in one another. There’ll be no worry.

I’m sitting alone here, sipping on my glass of wine. There is no fire. And so, I’m having this conversation with myself. I’m not talking to please myself. I’m talking so that I can hear myself. Sometimes it is hard. No, it is impossible to hear that one hand clapping. I tap to hear myself. Do you do that sometimes?

I hope that someday we could sit around the fire and have that conversation. I will not wait with bated breath though. I do not believe in fairy tales nor daydreams. Besides, I have to breathe and live in the real world. I will continue to do my tap dance on the keyboard.

Good night on this 15th night of the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

 

About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
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