December 4, 2018, 8:55 am
I have discovered that little useless things can eat up many minutes but I can do many things in a few minutes. It all depends on how present and distractible I am. I am the very latter – distractible. I can’t use the excuse of not getting enough sleep because I did. It’s rather that I don’t have a set plan. It’s Tuesday, a non exercise morning. It feels like a day off. I feel like I have extra time to goof off. It’s not a bad thing if it leaves me feeling good.
It doesn’t. I’ve been scrolling, trying to figure out how the Goodreads site works. I have accidentally joined its community when I was looking up a book. It hasn’t been of great importance to me what others are reading, etc. But now I get messages and updates. It peaks my curiosity. I’ve figured out how to post what I’m reading but how do I post what I’ve read? As I’ve said, it is not important except that it’s disturbed my peace of mind. I’m flustered and irritated. My feathers are ruffled.
I better stop this nonsense of wasting more of my day off. I have bills to pay and papers to sort. I have not made much progress with my desk except to remove some dust. Organizing anything is clearly not my forte. I must have been born with that defective gene. However, I will persevere with my efforts. I have deleted 75 messages from one of my mailboxes. Why do I hang on to them? It’s as if I make any move at all, even deleting an email, I will change my life forever. It’s silly I know but it helps to voice my fear of any little change.
Supper is done and I’m still sipping my one glass of wine. I’m still feeling ruffled around the edges. However, I will take a deep, deep breath, exhale and sip. Maybe I should have another glass. But now everything is smooth. I will be alright. The day has gone well. The bills are paid. I did not get the down time I intended and wanted. It’s tough when my brain is feverish with creating. I had to let my creation out. Tomorrow is another day. I will plan for it.