It’s the day after the fast. I had to do a little adjusting in the morning. I listened to my body. I did not go to my aerobics class. I knew that when I went to bed last night. My head and body felt a little strange. Maybe it’s the first time I was devoid of thoughts and worries. My body and mind emptied and cleansed, I had a good night’s sleep. I woke up feeling lighter.
After the fast comes the feast. It’s not about the food. Believe me, after fasting even for 12 hours, I do not want to stuff myself with food. Strange but true. The thought of a big heavy meal sounds nauseous. It’s about food for the soul. What do I need to become whole? I’ve been working at it forever and a day. Maybe I haven’t been conscious about it. I am now. I have been feeling fractured and broken. I have been sick for a month recently. Maybe all of it led me to this retreat of examining life. It’s all a part of the journey. I am sure I will have to travel it again and again. No free rides for anyone. There’s a keeper at the toll booth.
How did I feast? I read more from the Bible – passages from Joshua and Psalms. The books are long. So many battles in Joshua. I haven’t reached the end yet. Psalms 23, The Lord is My Shepherd is so soothing to read and recite. I delved a little into The I Ching. I don’t understand at all about the hexagram, throwing sticks or tossing coins. It is enough to read the truths the book contains. It is part of my heritage and I have the book. I bought it in 2013. It cost me only $2. It’s beautifully made using traditional Chinese bookbinding. What a bargain, eh?
I miss not going out in the garden today. I know now that time is of value to me. Time tending – weeding, watering, trimming, harvesting and conversing with all that is living. The living breathing green earth matters to me. It was eery walking Sheba down the back alley this evening. It was very, very warm. Still 30 degrees Celsius when we started out. The earth was so dry, fine and powdery – like icing sugar. All the houses were shuttered or curtained. It was quiet as the desert.
I think we get it now, that our planet is in danger. Some people are trying to grow their own food wherever and on every inch they could. It’s a wonder to me every time I see this row of zucchini outside the fence in the back alley. They look limp and forlorn in the heat. But they are producing. Then there’s this house on the corner. The whole small backyard is given over to a vegetable garden and full of pots growing peppers and herbs. The tomatoes overflow outside the fence into the back alley. It’s all a feast for my eyes and soul. I am fed by others’ efforts as well as my own. I hope I do the same in return.
I am happy to be eating again. Sustenance is necessary for body and soul. The fast changed my relationship with food. It is as if I’ve developed more taste buds. I am savouring more, eating less. I hope it lasts. Nourishment and becoming whole is a deep subject. It will be an ongoing process in being a congruent person. I think it is what is known as life.