I’m giving serious thought on as how to unplug and undo the unwants in me. Life is short as they say. I’m not getting any younger. Why hang on to my uglies with tooth and nail? There’s some benefits to being down with the flu or the winter blues. It slows down life and me with it. It adds weight to everything. Greys are heavier, pressing down on my shoulders. Sunlight is more brilliant, showing up all the dust and lint and Sheba’s chalky footprints on the hardwood floor. Things that nauseate me sickens me more. It’s impetus enough to want change.
The first step is to stop envying everybody else. It is wasteful energy. Logically, the second step is to come back to myself. I am seldom home, within my body or mind. Nobody’s asked me, but I have been living in other people’s lives. It’s not because I’m such an ultruistic person. It’s out of habit and it is easier than dealing with myself. It’s not true that you can never go home again. I am going to find my way back to the one who needs me the most – me. I’ve began the journey many times, but have never passed GO. So here goes!
The third step is Dr. Joe Dispenza’s book, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself/ How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One. The title had caught my eye a few years ago and I bought the ebook format. But I haven’t read it being on the Kindle app. It has a lot of bad as well as good reviews. Some people called him a quack. He’s a chiropractor. I’ve learned that other people’s reviews don’t always hold true for me. The title is enough of a stimulus for change.
Already I broke my habit of another cup of tea/decaf coffee. I’ve had 3 cups already and don’t need anymore. Instead I had water with my snack of an orange and a piece of cheese. I’m reading Tami Hoag’s Cold, Cold Heart. It’s about a woman suffering from severe brain injury and PSTD. It received alot of bad reviews from readers on Goodreads but I’m finding it very good. It’s fiction but the brain injury information is very interesting. I’m sure the author did factual research into the subject. I’m thinking: If an injured brain can rewire and relearn, so can I. It’s an exciting thought – reinventing myself. Why not?
What the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve. ~ Napoleon Hill ~