Here I am again – tap, tapping away on the keyboard. I hope the rhythm will propel words and ideas along. I like to make it all in one go. Aiming high, I know. No point in aiming for less. I would be programming myself for failure that way. God! I’m weary. My spirit is in my slippers. You would think that I’ll be dancing the jig. Our temperature is -3C. The sun is out. It feels like March. My body doesn’t work that way. It likes January to be like January. I’m only bitching here. It is my space. My valve release.

I made it to my aerobics class this morning. I didn’t really feel like it. But I packed my gym bag. Put it near the door. When the time came, I put on my coat and shoes and out the door I went. No thinking. No hesitation. That’s the way I have to do it. Come Wednesday and Friday, it will be easier. My routine is re-established. I always feel better after. I’ve made that effort to live, not just exist. Life is a complicated project. There are many components to figure out. Sometimes the user manual is not particularly clear or helpful. You have to fiddle and jiggle things around to make it work. It makes for interest and challenge. It keeps me going. There are some hiccoughs and stalls. That’s to be expected.

I jiggle Sheba’s time today, making it earlier. It’s nicer to walk in daylight and sunlight when possible. It gets dark anytime after 4 pm. My energy sags even further. So we try for 3 pm. It’s her most naughty time – barking and raising a fuss for her supper. Now we walk at 3. She has to earn her supper first. It’s a good working plan. We’ve done our walk. She’s fed and quiet on her cushion. I can sit here, drink my cups of tea and tap my heart out. Life can be easier just by rescheduling. It’s somewhere in beginning of the user manual. It just takes awhile for me to find it. Most of the time I don’t read directions. Winging  it doesn’t work as well.