Day 26, August 17, 2016 @2:42
For everything there is a beginning. But nothing happens until you start. Here I am, showing up. Do I have anything to say? What can I say about my intention of being – of not striving?
All my life I have strived to be better than what I am. I attribute my striving to feeling of lack in all aspects. That can happen when you are an immigrant and/or a child of immigrants. I was both having come to Canada from Hong Kong at 8 years old.
I strived to learn English, rid my accent, to catch up in school, to ‘fit’ in. I strived not to mind that I looked different – my hair is black, my eyes slanted, my nose small. I strived not to mind that we celebrate different things in different ways. I strived to be acceptable, to be the same as everyone. I failed, of course, but one never stops striving. There’s always something new to strive for.
My mission for today is to learn to stop. It is not easy but I can at least let go a little each day. There really is nothing to do and nowhere to go in this moment. There is no one to compare, to judge, to please except myself.
For everything there is also an ending. Can you let go a little? Try it. Till tomorrow.