I read Sheba the riot act this morning. Enough! I told her firmly. Two days of her constant restlessness and attachment to me was taking its toll. Life could not go on as is. Time to put in some boundaries. She was developing some bad behaviour from our coddling because of her anxiety attacks.
She could not tell us what the problem was but she was always a bit of a scarity cat right from puppyhood. She would not leave the kitchen area. The only way for me to get her out the yard for a walk was to take her in the car and drive to the neighbourhood park. We got an igloo dog house for Christmas the first year. She was scared of it and I had to go in with her. That is, I had to lay down and stick my head in. What I wouldn’t do for Sheba. She outgrew all these, but now….
I am getting weary – and frustrated. Seems like every time she make some progress, she gets another episode. I have witnessed some of her attacks and there doesn’t seem to be any triggers. She would be playing, eating or not do anything particular when she would stop, yelp and come running to me, shaking. She has always settled down after it all passed and rest. Lately, she’s been restless and watchful all the time. We have to stay with her while she eats. And she needs company to go out to potty.
We had been at the vet not too long ago and I had mentioned her anxiety attacks. She passed her physical and bloodwork. I’m calling forth patience and calmness to get both of us through this. I wonder if HE is testing me. How serious am I with my meditation and yoga practice?
It’s a piece of cake to practice when things are hunky dory. It’s quite another when they aren’t. The aren’ts crowd and overtake my mind. I breathe and find my way back, reminding myself that it is precisely for these times that I am practicing for. I am still on track. God has a way of keeping his eyes on me.
This morning I would have abandoned my new way of eating. I would have say “Give me 2 eggs and 2 pieces of toast. I wanted to fill that hole created by stress and it would be a start towards that slippery slope. But we only had 2 eggs in the fridge – one for me and one for my Significant Other. Saved by what is!
Sheba and I are soldiering on. She is resting after a morning walk. The streets are better but still is treacherously slippery. I am happy that I haven’t fallen as some poor woman did, walking her dogs. I have done some research on dogs and anxiety and trying out some remedies. I will be patient and calm and breathe through it all.