It’s Wednesday and I’m ready for Friday Fictioneers. We are hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields of Addicted to Purple. This is my story of 100 words to the photo prompt. This story is for Sheba (my dog) and I. We are both trying to work through our fears, both seen and unseen. Together we will conquer.
PHOTO PROMPT © Sandra Crook
She was so afraid. Perspiration blinded her as she ran. Her heart was thumping in her chest. It roared in her ears. Her breaths came in jagged rasps. She could see them in the frosty air. She wiped her hand across her eyes.
She was almost there. She quickened her pace. Dusk was coming. The sun was receding beyond the bridge. She must be on it before it gets dark.
Please, God! She pleaded. I won’t ask you for another thing.
She gathered her strength, pumped her arms and stretched her legs. She was flying. Her foot touched down. Safe!
I got quite caught up in this; you conveyed the sense of urgency and panic well. Good luck with your fears (and Sheba’s).
Thank you, Sandra and for the photo, too. It was quite helpful.
Lily
Dear Lily,
Definite sense of panic. I was taken out a bit by tense confusion with “She can see it in the frosty air…” I think you mean “She could…” I liked that she could fly away in the end.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you Rochelle! I’m still ‘tending’. Thanks for the catch so I can correct.
Lily
Dear Lily,
Cinderalla goes jogging? Whatever is going to happen to her if she’s late reaching the bridge must be pretty bad if she’s going to bargain with a god about it. Using up all of her markers, I’d say. I’m glad she made it.
Good luck with your fears.
Aloha,
Doug
Thanks Doug! I like the idea of Cinderella running for it! 😊
Lily
Is she really flying? I like it!
She is! That’s the beauty of fiction. You can make anything happen. 😊
Lily
After your comment about you and Sheba struggling to overcome some fears I easily pictured both you and Sheba running in a panic. Excellent. I loved the “flying” in the end. Best wishes to you both in overcoming your fears.
I like this deadline about crossing the bridge. I don’t even need to know why. I felt the sense of urgency to be strong and critical. Nice work, Lily.
Those fears we build up inside can be quite amazing.. I like how it changed into a fairy tale in the end.. truly flying would be great.
Bargaining for just another step can be quite logical when panic makes you irrational. The panic and urgency here were very well described.
I really felt this. Nicely written.
Thank you!
Great description. The fear is palpable, and I love that she flew.
Thank you, Margaret!
Wonderful work, Lily! You really made the reader feel her sense of panic. Best of luck to both of you in conquering those fears!
Thank you, Emillie! Sheba and I are both doing better.
Lily
Fear has a way of increasing the heart rate. You conveyed her panic well. Glad she made it.
That’s definitely a story a child would love. The idea that you can fly if you really need to. Great action through description, Lily. A lovely happy ending. Well done. 🙂 — Suzanne
Great use of punchy short sentences to help convey the urgency and panic. And a bit of magic and mystery about the bridge.