The rains almost came, the sky heavy with dark clouds. But they receded as the sun competed for attention.
I am trying to write my few words but my own cloud is fighting to be heard. Patiently I sit, waiting for the tug of war to subside. It is not easy. It is not hard. I just have to sit and tap out one word at a time. I do not have to clever. I do not have to be funny. I just have to tell it as it is.
So how is it? When I think it is SO hard to do this and that, I am surprised to find that it isn’t so. When you make a start, one thing follows another. Before you know it, the thing is done. I am proud of myself. You could say I am bragging now. Why not? I have to give myself credit because I know how hard it is when the clouds grab a hold of you.
I used to live in wait – for the shoe to drop. It was a relief when it did and nothing else happened. No disaster. No headless monsters. I’ve learned to go with the flow and let the clouds stay their while.
I do not try to ease my pain. It is painful. My throat is tight and unyielding. My limbs heavy and limp at the same time. Everything hurts, even my eyeballs. Have you ever felt like that? I do not try to call or make dates with friends. No use burdening others and most likely no one will be home.
That has been my experience. No one is home in those times for me. It is more empowering that I be home for myself. So, I put my head down and put one foot in front of the other and MOVE, at whatever speed I can. Life is hard sometimes. You have to give yourself a break and a pat on the back once in awhile. You have to brag
once in a while, often. Go ahead. Do it.