We are still waiting for the snow to fall. It had rained during the night. The skies are grey. The streets are wet. It’s 0 outside and 7℃ in the greenhouse. It’s not a picture of sunshine, lollypops and rainbows. I’m doing a little bit of house cleaning. Having something physical to do gives me a sense of comfort and stability during these uncertain times. Our mothers were wise. In times of trouble, they get busy scrubbing floors and cleaning out cupboards. It’s a good way of working out frustrations. While the hands are busy, it frees the brain to free float and find solutions. It’s killing two birds with one stone.

Now it is after 1 pm. We are still waiting for the snow. The skies are still grey. The winds were fierce this morning but have calmed a wee bit. I am sipping on my second cup of tea. My siblings and I had a meeting with the palliative nurse regarding the care of our father. It is wonderful to have the guidance and resources of the program. We groped blindly through the care and passing of our mother. It was very stressful and traumatic . We’ve learned through the process. I still teared with the memory of that time.

I am waiting for the storm to come and pass. I am waiting for the sun to shine. I am waiting for spring and summer. I am waiting for peace. I wonder what the wait time is.