I am, again, wrestling with my every day inertia. It is hard to get out of Dodge. I have so many excuses. They’re all valid. I haven’t yet learned how to turn a deaf ear. I need a fire in my pants or a horse to get me out of town. None available so I’m having another cup of tea and tapping out the blues. Life isn’t fair. It never was. So here I am.

Just where am I exactly? I am here in my sunny sunroom drowning in dust and clutter. At least I am alive and breathing. So are my plants though my little orchid looks a bit thirsty. I got up and gave it a drink. I can still do that. I still have that much energy in me. Hurray for me! I am really surprised remembering that I started seedlings last spring, put in a greenhouse, a garden and a community garden plot last summer. I have no memories of how I did all that.

I look around me now. There’s something on every surface. Where will I put my trays if I could find the will to start some seeds? I know I need to get the onions and peppers going soon. Maybe I can sweep everything off into boxes and deal with them later. That has been my trick these days. It works- till it doesn’t. It’s better than not doing anything. Ok, that will be the plan. I will seed some onions and peppers today.

I feel wretched now. It feels as if I’ve been stuck in Dodge forever. I see no ways of getting out on the horizon. I do know that it will not stay that way. It is alright to struggle a little, be wretched for awhile. It’s ok to be helpless and hopeless for a time. I know help is on the way. I’m sure Marshal Dillon is going to help me out. Meanwhile, I’ll just chill.