I took a 2 day vacation from the Ultimate Blog Challenge. My income tax return was calling me with urgency. I was not keen but I knew it was best that I gave it my undivided attention. I’m glad that I did. I am now breathing easier. I knew from past experience it was not a terribly hard or lengthy process. Still, I go through these moments annually with it AND often with other issues. These moments of feeling impending boom – from putting off, procrastinating,thinking of the worst possible scenarios.
I haven’t push the review and optimize and send buttons yet. I’m there but I am still procrastinating. At least the feelings of dread are lighter. I’ve gone through piles of papers the last 2 days. I’ve investigated how long I need to keep certain documents and made a pile for shredding. My head feels better, not as fuzzy and befuddled. I saw that I was organized once upon a time. At some point, I dropped the ball. I do not berate myself. Life is hard. These last couple of years have been very hard. I’ve done the best I could. Some things are more important than others. I prioritized.
I’m still experiencing some of these moments. This morning I got lost in scrolling through news of our federal election. I skipped my morning meditation and writing my morning pages. I realize I could lose my whole day scrolling through this and that. It’s a time waster but somehow it is a soother. I used my will power to curb my instinct and looked towards other more useful means of pacifying myself. I got off my butt and washed the dishes by hand. I found the physical act of washing by hand calming and have been doing it for awhile. Next was the dust mop on the kitchen floor and sweeping up the crumbs form our meals.
Now, I am tapping out the last words for the second last day of this challenge. I feel it is important to finish what I had started.
onethousandandtwo 
I, too, have found myself lost in the the elections. I was up way too late last night (or should I say very early this morning) and then up very early to take my brother to a medical appointment. I think I need a nap.
Welcome back, Lily! I’m so glad you tackled the dreaded tax task and can breathe easier now, what a relief, right? Have you hit the send button yet?
Thanks, Tamara. I’ve hit the button. Done till next year.
Stop the procrastination! Hit that send Button! And then have a worry free day!
I’ve pushed the button and paid up. Very painful – not the paying up part. Just doing the button thing.
I understand about the procrastination. It’s my best skill. And paperwork is my worst. Good luck with getting that stuff done and sent.
Thank you, Alice. Done and sent!
I hate cleaning but feel very accomplished after cleaning.
Lily, I have been in exactly the spot you describe, putting off finalizing taxes even though I know it will actually only take 2 hours. But I have so much emotion attached to it! I have a cohort who is a tax professional, and she does mine now, after I assemble masses of data. She submitted mine online two weeks ago, and what a relief! I see from the comment stream, you have pushed the button– congratulations. In the US, if you realize you should have filled in the pages a bit differently, you can always file an Amended Return. Good for you, using physical tasking like washing the dishes, to shift your brain state so you could go back and take a last look, then push SUBMIT. Awesome!