LETTING IT ALL HANG OUT

February 7, 9:15 am. Cloudy with sun. -6℃ outside, -7.4℃ in the greenhouse. I got my 8 hours of sleep last night. We were in bed by 10 pm. I have to admit I was feeling out-of-sorts watching the National about the freedom convoy situation in Ottawa. I wonder how they can call their mission freedom when they holding and subjecting a city and their citizens to their rude and unlawful behaviour. It is hard not to fall into the pits of depression when your country seems to be following in the footsteps of our southern neighbour. It is indeed hard and depressing when you hear the American Republicans applauding the convoy. But then I read this opinion piece in MacLean’s and my spirit rose a little.

It is after 3 pm. Very sunny. 3℃ outside and 8.6℃ in the greenhouse. This week promises warm weather. If the sun comes out every day, there’s hope that the greenhouse beds may be workable to sow some spinach seeds. So far I see only cloudy days ahead. We had our ski this morning. The sky was a work of art. You will have to take my word for it as I forgot to take my iPhone with me. No photos taken except those with my naked eyes. It was good that I got to enjoy the scenes before me without interruption. It’s part of my problem. I always want to capture those moments. I need to relax and just enjoy the view.

I am struggling a bit here. The cursor likes to jump around the screen. I’ve wasted time and energy finding a fix but I’ve succeeded – I think. It’s a reminder that things don’t always go smoothly or the way we want. Sometimes life sucks. It’s ok to feel badly. It’s not a time to feel glad. I don’t have to pretend. I can let it all hang out. No one can see me. It’s healthy to acknowledge our feelings. I didn’t let those feelings go to waste. They pushed me into tackling those hard to do chores – those hard to get at corners and closets. How the dust like to hide in and among all the clutter.

Nothing gets done by themselves, no matter how hard I’ve been wishing upon a star. It has to be hands on, getting down and dirty. It’s good at ridding of those nasty thoughts and feelings in my head and soul. I’ve worked up a sweat and a sugar low. I didn’t feel guilty at all having a big snack so close to supper time. I feel replenished.

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