I had my passport photos done this morning. Hallelujah! “Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There’s a crack, a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” Forgive my little outburst of Leonard Cohen’s verse from Anthem. How could I help it? Such perfect lines. I want to be the author.

I am one step closer to getting my passport and to travelling to a foreign country if the desire or need comes up. I’m surprised that starting this process does stir up the juices. I am no longer feeling lazy and as complacent with my status quo. My interest is peaked and my vitality increased. I’ve gone as far as to visiting and talking with a travel agent.

So that was Friday. Was that only yesterday? Seemed so long ago. So many twists and turns to the day(s). I just have to twist, turn and sometimes shout with them. Sheba is in one of her moods. She is pacing here and there, wants to go out, then wants to come in, yips and cries. It is hard to tell if it is anxiety or something else. If only dogs can talk. I hope she will settle down soon. I hope she will let me sleep tonight.

It is like tending a baby or a patient. They’re fussing because they are uncomfortable. I will have to do the best I can. I remember having such a patient. It had to be on a night shift when staff was minimal. The patient was a young 30ish woman with lupus. She was having an anxiety attack and wanted me to sit with her for awhile. And so I did but I could only do it for a short time. I had a patient load of 12 patients. She got more stressed and distressed as soon as I left. Of course, her blood pressure and other symptoms escalated. I phoned the resident on call. He came, read her chart, but did not go to see the patient.

This went on and on. The patient called her mother in to sit with her. I felt very bad and helpless. I told the resident that it wasn’t right for him to just read her chart. He needed to have hands on. His story was that he was advised by a colleague to be careful that this patient’s needs and demands doesn’t eat him alive. True, we have to have boundaries but this was poorly handled. I felt that if he had spent some time with her, it would have saved a lot of chaos for all of us. She got herself so worked up that I had to move her into the Observation Unit.

I’m remembering all this with Sheba now. So here I am, tapping by candlelight (joking). It soothes me. It must soothe her, too. She’s laying quietly on her pillow beside me. I will stay up awhile longer. Let her relax a bit. If need, I guess I can sleep on the Lazy Boy or loveseat. I hate to move and get her all antsy again. She and I had been sleepless for one week one time. We both don’t want a repeat performance. So TLC with firmness.

This is for day 12 and 13 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I wanted to do better but too many twists and turns. Oops, Sheba just got up. I hope she’s ready for bed and not fussing.