WEEKEND MUTTERINGS

I’ve never ever found an optimum time for doing anything or an easy time for starting something. Truth be told, I’m a daydreamer, a doodler, lounger, wistful thinker. In short I’m a procrastinator, trying to hold life at bay. What is this fear of starting and living?, I ask myself. I have no clue, no inkling of an idea but just this physical discomfort of not wanting to commit. Laugh if you will but we all know that he who laughs first, laughs last. I am sure you have that procrastinator in you, too. Only you haven’t recognized yourself in the mirror.

I see myself as molasses in winter mode. It is cool this morning. I see my little cucumber plants shivering in the raised bed in the front yard. First the heat. Now the chill. I hope they make it. I’ve never had much luck with them except for one year. Now that’s something to aim for. Something to get my juices flowing and off my butt. It takes patience and persistence to succeed at anything. My cyclamen is such a testament. I gave it the attention it needed. I don’t have a steady supply of that either. It comes in sporatic spurts. I’m not good when the going gets tough. Sometimes I abandon ship. Now that’s another thing to work on.


It’s another morning. I’ve clearly abandoned ship yesterday before finishing this conversation. I’m going through a spell. I’m lacking motivation. Nothing turns me on but I’m working on it. I feel as if I can’t even get myself out of a wet paper bag. Sometimes I just have to put in the effort as if I do love it, whether I feel it or not.  That’s life. What is it that gets you up and going? What are your secrets for joie de vivre? What keeps you on the job till it’s finished?

I’m sipping on my cuppa, my favourite diversion for not doing. I’m glued to my chair but at least I am flexing my fingers, tapping on the keyboard. I’m trying to stay awake, thinking of how to overcome my inertia, how not to feel overwhelmed about our climate crisis. What else can I do not to contribute to the carbon footprint? How can I get outside of myself to help the world I live in. These are some of my thoughts on this sunny cool June morning. Perhaps I can bake some rhubarb crisp to warm up. I’ve been making rhubarb sour cream muffins the last 2 days but I’ve run out of sour cream.

 

 

About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
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4 Responses to WEEKEND MUTTERINGS

  1. terry fishman says:

    Great blog, but they’re all great! What gets me on point…..OCD, so we all have some personality trait to contend with!! By the way, those Rhubarb muffins look delicious and I just bought a large container of Lactose Free Sour Cream so maybe you could direct me to the recipe. Hope it warms but there, we finally have a heat wave this weekend😊🌻

    • hafong says:

      Thanks very much, Terry! It’s still cool here but I’ve warmed up baking. The muffin recipes are on my IG post on each muffin. I think I like the 2nd one better, though they are both very good. One has more rhubarb than the other.

  2. Jeanine Byers says:

    I can relate to your inertia! I notice I have been getting up a little later in the mornings, and taking a wee bit longer to come to life. Letting in sunlight and using my light box, both help. As does engaging my mind in some way, like reading, or writing, or praying. Once I begin a task, it’s easier to stick with it, but sometimes, getting started is the hard part for me. Wishing you motivation and completions.

    • hafong says:

      Thanks, Jeanine. I have good wishes for you, too. I think maybe the pollen season is making me more tired than usual. Nice to hear from you.

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