UNTANGLING MY BRAIN CLUTTER

This morning I am wondering if my ADHD cluttered brain leads me towards the path of depression. It is a very sunny gorgeous morning and I am not at all happy to be a victim of my defective brain. I don’t like to be at the mercy of the weather and other forces. I want to be the captain of my ship. I am hoping I will have more control at the helm with my practice of mindfulness.

To tell the truth, after my morning routines of 20 minutes of this and that, I am at a loss as to what to do. I have ‘much to do’ but they are a ‘clutter’ in my head. I envy people who talked about spring cleaning and can actually get it done. Mostly I talk about it and can never get pass one room. It really ticks me off. Then I fall into gloom, overwhelmed thinking of the rooms, the windows, the closets and tables of clutter and dust. I wonder how I can get past it all.

This morning after I’ve vacuumed the floor of Sheba’s hair and duff, I made a quick sweep of dust in the living room and part of the kitchen. Then I had to stop for a cuppa. And here I am now, tapping out my anguish. I’m remembering to Stop, Take a breath and relax. I tried to Observe this present moment. What am I hearing, seeing and feeling. I am Proceeding forward. STOP.

What I know for sure is, I do not want to do a Marie Kondo. To me, it seems obscene for a consultant to charge $100/hour for a minimum of 5 hours and $50 worth of travel outside of New York City. I wonder how many clutter bugs suffer from ADHD. Would it not be less costly to treat that than spending the money on stuff and then getting rid of them. But I am digressing. How will I solve my problem?

The thing I can’t see is the big picture. The picture is a great big undifferentiated blob in my mind. I have to chop it up into small squares and tackle each square at a time – much like the way I put my tablecloth together. When someone gives me verbal directions to anywhere or how to do anything, my eyes glaze over after the second sentence. I have tried many times to listen more intently but to no avail. However if it is written down, I am able to follow. Ah! Here is my answer. I should put that in practice. I have to figure out what I want to accomplish, break down the steps and write them down. Then DO them.

 

About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to UNTANGLING MY BRAIN CLUTTER

  1. Definitely you can do it! You have already found the solution 😊

  2. Martha DeMeo says:

    Take baby steps, you will do great! I like how you decided to break it down in steps, write them down and you can even cross them off as you complete a task. This would be a great idea for me too as I tend to jump from one thing to another when I do my spring cleaning.

  3. Jeanine Byers says:

    I totally understand not being able to get to it, even though you set the goal. I like the idea of breaking into small chunks of action. That has worked for me, when I say I’m in between things, so I’m going to take 10 minutes and find something to clean. When I have done that, I always feel so proud of it. And then I want to clean more. Wishing you a glimpse of the big picture! ❤

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.