January 23, 2019  4:58 pm

The days are ticking away slowly or quickly depending on my frame of mind. Right now it could be better. I guess I’m running between a tortoise and a hare. That sounds about perfect, doesn’t it?  Well, it isn’t at all. I have a flipping headache. I could curse up a f’ing storm but I don’t have as much wind as I did when I was a nurse. Don’t get me wrong. I did my cussing privately amongst my cohorts, except once. In the heat of the moment and frustration with my co-worker, I lost control and said f’ing in the presence of a patient. I turned myself into the authorities. It was a comedy show with tears.

Life’s been like that for me. I don’t get much of a break and I try so frigging hard to dot all the i’s and cross all the t’s. I’ve been raised by my mama. That’s how she is, too. She is much better at it than me, though. She seldom loses her cool. She suffers silently. She never cusses. She would be shocked to hear me thus. She knows very well I have a temper though. She tells me I’m like my father. Humph!

I wish that I am not so rigid with the i and the t. I wish that I could be a little more carefree. I wish I did not have to always do the right thing. I like to say I don’t really give a flying fuck and mean it. Lo and behold, this morning I came across Mark Manson. He wrote the book – The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. I want to write that book. It’s difficult to be subtle about it, though. The very word itself is blunt and to the point. I will have to give it some serious study. I have reserved the book at the library. Hanson writes:

” In my life, I have given a fuck about many people and many things. I have also not given a fuck about many people and many things. And those fucks I have not given have made all the difference.”

I will make a report after I have read the book and tried out some of the ideas. I am #72 on the list. There are 9 copies.