GETTING ALONG IS HARD TO DO

Thanksgiving Monday. Cold and grey. So different from yesterday but at least there’s no snow. I asked Sheba if she wanted to go for her walk. She ran to the door. I said Oh, Damn! I seriously didn’t mean it though. We go for walk, rain or shine. It helps keep us trim and the yard clean. She does her big business on her walks – mostly.

My brother and sister-in-law were complaining about their neighbour’s yard at our Thanksgiving supper last evening. These neighbours have 2 large dogs. They don’t go for walks and do their business in the yard. They don’t pick up. Sometimes the prevailing wind is not kind and the air is like when the University of Saskatchewan cleans its research dairy barn. Whew! Once when my brother was working on the fence, he dropped a tool onto their side. His wife had to tiptoe through alot of doggy poo to retrieve it.

I said why don’t you let them know about it. They want to get along and didn’t want to start anything unpleasant. I feel they have a right to clean air. It’s not an unreasonable request but I can understand their reluctance. I’ve had my share of troubles with neighbours.  I’ve had my share of hard to get along relationships. It seems you can’t let people know when they are causing you trouble even if you tell them nicely. Why shouldn’t I be able to tell my neighbour that the snow she is shovelling onto my yard to causing a drainage problem for me? Why can’t she understand that I don’t like her ‘weeding’ in my yard or that I don’t want my yard sprayed with pesticide? And why can’t I ask for more help or cooperation without people disliking or ‘unfriending’ me?

I’m not a difficult person. I have had lots of difficulty getting along. I feel like we live in a society that is intolerant of criticism. I don’t like being criticised either. Who wants to be wrong or be told that they are less than perfect? But I try to think twice before reacting/responding. I have been so surprised/shocked/disappointed by people’s behaviour sometimes that I do react impulsively. Then I am sorry because fences are hard if not impossible to mend. I think I’ve gotten over all that, the shock and disappointment. I try to look at it all as great learning experiences. I used to spend so much time and energy feeling guilty. I was always working on mending old fences and relationships. I try not to do that any more. I want to build new ones instead.

About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
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6 Responses to GETTING ALONG IS HARD TO DO

  1. These are fantastic sentiments! Thanks for the share!

  2. I tend to not speak up – unless something happens that gets me so angry. The yard of the dog toilet, I suspect, might be a case of me getting to that anger point. It’s more than just smell; it’s a health hazard.

  3. atkokosplace says:

    I think if everyone behaves in a way that they’d like to be, then all would be well. For instance, I pick up my dogs poo, keep my land clean without disrupting anyone else’s. I try and be as neat and tidy and think about my neighbors and what they’d think. I was clearing some brush from my land and noticed I have a tree that grows over to my neighbors. It is lovely and gives us both privacy, however I still wondered if the tree’s encroachment bothered my neighbor. I asked him one day and he said, “I have enough in life to worry about”, and proceeded to tell me I could do whatever I liked to his yard! As in, he didn’t mind one bit that my tree was hanging into his yard! I believe if I try to be a good person and think about others, all would be well…in reality it doesn’t matter whether I am nice, there will always be rotten ones out there to ruin the day. I still plug along and try my best to live by being nice. It’s heartbreaking at times, but at the end of the day, I feel like I did good by being nice. I too want to build new fences. 🙂

    • hafong says:

      You sound like a neighbour I would like to have. 🙂 My one neighbour would not even allow my beans climb over the fence to her side. She cuts them off. I’ve learned not to talk to her. She delights in doing things that aggravate me.

      Lily

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