It is after lunch. Lethargy seeps into every part of me, body and mind. I want to vegetate forever and forever. If I was to allow it, the food, pots and dishes would sit there till mold grows. I wonder how I ever held down a job. The wonder of it was that I was in a high stress, 12-hour-shifts nursing profession for over 30 years. I thought I did well but looking back now, maybe not. I attended to the job but not to my life. My still-full laundry basket of laundered clothes still sits from 4 years ago when I was still working. Clearly, I haven’t missed those items. Maybe, too, I don’t want to dig into that basket of memories. BUT, I will tend to it today.
I have been missing in action here for a few days. I was tending to my body and soul. Sometimes I have to take a rest into the quiet, still my thoughts, silence my words and not let them march onto the page. Silence is golden. Some things I need to keep for myself. Otherwise, I will have nothing of my own. I will be emptied out.
It is hard to resume the conversation though. It is like the after lunch dishes. If left too long, things get stale and crusty. It would require more energy to get going. I had to get up and fetch a cuppa. My eyes were droopy. It would be so easy just to curl up and have a nap. But I’m stuttering on, letting my fingers find the rhythm and the letters. The clouds are gathering, the wind picking up. I hear a train whistle. I better not tarry. There’s Sheba to be walked – hopefully before the rains come.