Some things don’t change. Some people never do. I feel myself being triggered  by the same person, in the same way. I could feel the same ire rising in me. She’s still the same! I thought. The next thought was, I am, too! But that doesn’t mean that I have to be. I can change. I just have to pay more attention and not bite. I can go down a different street. I do not have to fall into that same hole in the sidewalk.

Change – it’s easier said than done. Some of our habits are so ingrained. The way we think, act, speak, respond are automatic. Things are out of our mouths and the deeds are done before we know what happened. Then we are sorry – till the next time. The question then is how do we make a change. How many times do we fall through the same hole before we choose a different route?

I’ve spent a year trying to do something different each day, even if that something is thinking differently. But then, that is the thing. It is all in the thinking.  They call it stinking thinking. After a year of trying to be different, I still need reminders, reviews. Life is tricky. There are many holes in the sidewalk. I am not there yet. But where is the there? Is there a there? Or is this a whole life process, like breathing? We have to keep at it, day after day. Life is a process. Sometimes I just hate these sayings. For once I like to say I have arrived. Ya da!

Ever the Google and research girl, I found B.J. Fogg’s Tiny Habits as the fastest and better way to change. I like the sound of no gimmick and tiny. I never found the whole enchilada very appealing except at a buffet. Then you really pay for it, both financially and physically. Life Hack has a comprehensive post on it.  It includes tiny habits for physical and mental health, for work productivity, better relationships, better community and environment. You can check it out and see for yourself.

I hear John Lennon singing This Is Christmas in my head the last few days. It is coming. I’ve made the decision to celebrate it without the gifting. I’ve had the conversation and it’s okay with the family. It will be a change after all these years. Do we really mean it’s really the spirit that counts and not the gifts? Can we celebrate without the buying? Maybe I can, but what about the others? The thoughts are going round and round my head. How am I going to celebrate Christmas this year? What can I do to make it meaningful, to lift my spirit?

Maybe making the decision of not gifting at Christmas is enough this year. I am then left with no running/driving around slippery streets and slopes. There will be just the occasion of Christmas, people, food and John Lennon’s So this is Christmas. How will you celebrate this Christmas?


  1. I admire you for continually trying to improve yourself. Most of us are in a rut, but we could all change for the better. Good for you for never giving up!

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