This I what life does. It wakes me. It is as dark as can be. It is 7 and I get up though I didn’t want to. I swim on Saturday mornings. I don’t really feel like it today. It’s dark and cool. It’s nice and warm in bed. But I know that I really do enjoy it once I get there. Saturday morning is the only time that I have a chance of a lane to myself.
It is a little after 8 when I find myself at a red light on 8th Street. I can still go back home, I thought. I will be really late when I get to the pool and there’ll be lots of people. I could do a bunch of stuff at home. Then the light turned green. I kept going. This is what life is. You have to keep going though the going gets tough.
I find myself at funerals more often nowadays. Is this the new outing for us now? Is this the message finally or is this just another day in the life of the newly arrived seniors? I try not to think too much upon things. I keep on driving. But things and conversations have a habit of popping into my head. “No, I don’t remember you. You probably don’t remember me either. ” I try not to mind the dismissive tone of someone from a long time ago. “Yes, I do”. I replied quickly without thought. And I did. Why would I pretend otherwise? For feeling the rebuff of dismissal?
Naw, I said to myself. It has been a long time. Some people have better memory than others. Besides, I had the satisfaction of seeing that she was a little hunchbacked. Oh, the bitchiness of a female! I am honest if nothing else. No more thoughts. I keep driving. I arrive, change and into the warmth of the pool. I have the last empty lane.
I hear you about the funerals. It seems yesterday when it was all weddings. Not anymore. But we need to keep going until it’s time to attend our own.
True, true. We are attending an event called Die Wise in November. The speaker is Stephen Jenkinson, a spiritual activist and writer. Hopefully it will help us to process the event.
Lily