Today I’m not so lucky. Not too much sunshine but it did say hello briefly. I guess I will have to be my own sunshine. That way, nobody can take it away from me. I will have to get that cup of tea first. It just doesn’t feel right without it. My keyboard and my cup of tea are my best buddies in the morning. I tap. I sip. And vice versa. The world feels better in between them.

I’m not one for giving up – on anything. I’m like Sheba with a bone. I hang on for dear life – trying to make everything work. Trying to salvage every little bitty thing till my fingernails are bloody. I saw that in myself last night trying to pry my grape rolls off the dehyrator trays. It looked so promising in the beginning – making fruit rolls from our grapes. What a disaster! I forgot to oil the trays before I pour the grape pulp onto them. They did not lift off easily. They hung on as tightly as I am to my ways. Who was I to blame them?

Why are first times always such disasters? Even assembling the new pasta machine last year was an ordeal. And we never did get the pasta to turn out after botching it three times. Sheba had a lot of doggy biscuits from that. So nothing lost or wasted. That’s me again – salvaging. It’s really a good thing. I have to stop feeling like it’s a fault.

But I did give up on the last two trays of my grape mess. It was getting late. I was getting tired – and a wee bit angry. Time to chuck it. Into the sink of hot water they went. The good thing is that they do soften up overnight and wash off easily after. There were a few things I did wrong besides not oiling the trays. First times I should start small with 4 trays. That’s the minimum for operating the dehydrator. The dehydrator was not on a level surface. The thickness of the pulp was not even.

I did do some things right. I cleaned as I went along. So no big messes at the end even though it felt like that. This will be the end of the fruit rolls. I will maybe make a syrup with the small leftover of the pulp for yogurt. The rest of the grapes will go into the compost. I’m learning to chuck some stuff that doesn’t work for me. I’m not wasting, still salvaging into compost for more grapes next year.

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