Day 165-166, January 8, 2017 @2:15 pm

If I had my druthers, I would be napping right now instead of sitting here, painfully tapping out my words one by one. If I had my druthers, I wouldn’t have made another batch of yogurt, experimented with a tracing technique from my oneline art class. I wouldn’t have sorted my knitting baskets. They would still be overflowing with yarn tangled into each other, knitting needles, measuring tape and what have you. If I had my druthers, nothing would get done. Life would be a f***ing mess.

These difficult cold days of January, I’m trying to change my thinking towards the ‘hardness’ of life. I try not to think and just do it. Sometimes it takes an extra cup of tea/coffee, a glass of wine, extra time…whatever it takes. Today I’m employing mindfulness. I don’t try to understand the why of things. Some things/questions have no answers. Do you find it hard to bend over and pick up something dropped on the floor? I do. I drather walk around it even though it takes the same amount of time and energy? How ridiculous is that? I don’t try to figure it out. Instead I stand there, however long it takes to bend over, and pick it up. Now I have to go and get that extra cup of coffee. It’s what’s called a delaying tactic. It’s okay. I allow myself that.

I’m back with my coffee. On the way I saw a coil of dental floss on the floor. I bent down, picked it up and put it in the trash. It was not painful. Hallelujah!

It’s almost time to walk the dog. She’s been fussing for the last half hour. If I had my druthers, I would nap.