WHO’S SORRY NOW

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It’s Wednesday again and time for Friday Fictioneers and their tales of 100 or so words.  We’re hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields of Addicted to Purple.  Here’s my 100 words inspired by the photo prompt.  I’ve been reading murder mysteries.  It might have affected my imagination somewhat.

PHOTO PROMPT – © Connie Gayer …(Mrs. Russell)

PHOTO PROMPT – © Connie Gayer …(Mrs. Russell)

He had made a mistake.  He could see that clearly now.  If he could hang on and figure a way out of this, the bitch will pay – big time.  He had underestimated her.  She was awfully lucky or smarter than he thought.

He better not struggle too much, no sudden moves.  It would be disastrous.  He took a slow breath, trying to relax his arms and shoulders.  Yes, that’s a bit better!

Perspiration ran down his forehead.  His eyes stung from the dust and sweat.  His throat was dry and scratchy. He was sorry now.

“You’re too late!”  She yelled down.

31 thoughts on “WHO’S SORRY NOW”

  7. The tenses in the first paragraph confused me a little. I took it that he was hanging off a cliff or something and she’s above him, sensing that he’s regretting his actions, so I was confused also about the comments too. Perhaps it’s too early in the day for me.

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  8. I have a problem with your tenses too, Hafong.
    I suspect it might be a good story, but I struggled to understand it.
    Why not try writing in the present tense, give it a sense of immediacy?

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  9. Dear Lily,

    I was also confused by the tenses. Choose one or the other. I agree with Ceayr. I think putting it all in the present will strengthen it. Good the jerk got what was coming to him.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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