THE LAST BUS

It is Friday again and time for Friday Fictioneers to tell their stories of 100 words or so. We are hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields of Addicted to Purple.  This past week marks her third anniversay as host of this group of fictioneers.  Thank you Rochelle for your dedication and hard work.  And now, my 100 words inspired by this photo from Ron Pruitt.

the bus

The line inched slowly forward.  She hoped there was room for her. She craned her neck to see ahead of her.  Please! She whispered to herself.  She shifted her weight to one crutch, then to the other.

It was hard, but she had to get away fast.  She glanced furtively backwards.  Someone tried to move in front of her.  She quickly thrust her right crutch out.

“No, you don’t!”  She cried out.

Finally she was there.  She felt arms behind her.  Good, someone was going to help her get on the bus.  Then she heard his voice.

“No, you don’t!”

 

 

 

31 responses to “THE LAST BUS”

  1. Solothefirst Avatar
    Solothefirst

    Oh no…. What an ending!

    Reply
    1. hafong Avatar
      hafong

      Life is like that. That’s for reading!

      Lily

      Reply
  2. gahlearner Avatar
    gahlearner

    Oh damn, and she almost made it. I hope someone helps her… assuming that the one capturing her is someone bad and she hasn’t run away from hospital or something similar. Or maybe it was, No you don’t, Grandma? 🙂 Very intriguing.

    Reply
    1. hafong Avatar
      hafong

      Bad things are not easy to get away from sometimes. Thanks for the read!

      Lily

      Reply
  3. rochellewisoff Avatar
    rochellewisoff

    Dear Lily,

    You did well in conveying the urgency of her situation. Then ending is heartbreaking.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Reply
    1. hafong Avatar
      hafong

      Thanks so much, Rochelle!

      Lily

      Reply
  4. Dale Avatar
    Dale

    Oh the wretched, horrid man. Preying on someone in crutches…

    Reply
    1. hafong Avatar
      hafong

      Some men just have no heart! Thanks for reading, Dale.

      Lily

      Reply
  5. aliciajamtaas Avatar
    aliciajamtaas

    Oh, this brought a groan of despair. So close!

    Reply
    1. hafong Avatar
      hafong

      It’s those close calls that gets you, like a baseball game!

      Lily

      Reply
  6. rogershipp Avatar
    rogershipp

    Yikes! Sorry… no escape today. Well done!

    Reply
    1. hafong Avatar
      hafong

      Some days are like that. Thanks for reading,

      Lily

      Reply
  7. It's Matthew Burgos Avatar
    It’s Matthew Burgos

    Welcome to today’s society — where everyone gets a free deception. Thank you for this great story and reminder! I love it.

    Reply
    1. hafong Avatar
      hafong

      Well thank you Matthew!

      Lily

      Reply
  8. Sandra Avatar
    Sandra

    Almost, but not quite. Well done.

    Reply
    1. hafong Avatar
      hafong

      Thank you Sandra!

      Lily

      Reply
  9. momtheobscure Avatar
    momtheobscure

    Oh no! Maybe she can beat him(?) with her crutches and the other onlookers can help…although as you said the bad things are not easy to get away from. So it goes

    Reply
    1. hafong Avatar
      hafong

      That’s a good idea! 🙂

      Lily

      Reply
  10. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) Avatar
    Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    I do not know why she wanted to get away… maybe she had battered her old man with that crutch of hers… maybe it’s the sheriff pulling her into justice.

    Reply
    1. hafong Avatar
      hafong

      There are so many reasons…Thanks for reading, Bjorn.

      Lily

      Reply
  11. ceayr Avatar
    ceayr

    Excellent job of building tension and killer ending.
    Am I right in thinking he is the reason she is on crutches?

    Reply
    1. hafong Avatar
      hafong

      You got it! Thanks for reading.

      Lily

      Reply
  12. ansumani Avatar
    ansumani

    When the MC makes sure her no one cut her in the line , it seemed like she’s a woman who could stand up for herself…so I tend to think that the person holding her back at last won’t be successful . Nice one.

    Reply
    1. hafong Avatar
      hafong

      Thank you!

      Lily

      Reply
  13. The Reclining Gentleman Avatar
    The Reclining Gentleman

    So close to a getaway… i sense this is not the first time she has tried, nor will it be the last

    Reply
    1. hafong Avatar
      hafong

      Never give up! Thanks for reading.

      Lily

      Reply
  14. Suzanne Joshi Avatar
    Suzanne Joshi

    Poor woman. It must have been difficult for her to get that far. But, yes, life is sometimes tragic like that. Well written, Lily. —- Suzanne

    Reply
    1. hafong Avatar
      hafong

      Thank you, Suzanne.

      Lily

      Reply
  15. Deborah Drucker Avatar
    Deborah Drucker

    Oh no I hate that she struggled on her crutches to get away and then….She could at least clobber him with the crutch. That would be very satisfying.

    Reply
    1. hafong Avatar
      hafong

      Indeed, that would be very satifying! 🙂

      Lily

      Reply
      1. Deborah Drucker Avatar
        Deborah Drucker

        🙂

Leave a reply to hafong Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.