SO MUCH FEAR

IMG_2358Yesterday I found Sheba with her hind quarters vibrating in the sun room.  I thought we were done with all that.  But apparently NOT.  Nothing to do but hug her and give her a treat.  She’s just had a checkup a couple of weeks ago and passed all the tests – heart, lungs  and bloodwork. Her cholesterol was a bit high but then it wasn’t done on fasting blood.  She’s a few pounds overweight, but who isn’t? 

Happily this time it was was just a small episode.  There was no running away, crying in fright.  She settled and ate her supper without coaxing or me having to stand on guard by her.  Progress in slow motion.  Two steps forward and only one step back.  We soldiered on – life in small increments.

jumpingToday she is her saucy self again, bouncing and strutting to her own rhythm.  Maybe she, too, is feeling the flow and ebb of the Universe, fielding the blows and strutting in the glories.  I take heart in her resilience, thinking I need to strut in her wake.  There’s so much fear in the world but there’s that much more joy and glory.  I have to believe and trust in my own strength.

IMG_2361Fine, powdery snow is blowing.  The wind has picked up.  The light is pale and cold but I’m remembering the brilliance of yesterday’s sun.  I can still feel the healing power of its warmth as it smiled and embraced me. Ahh!  I think it heard me just now.  It’s smiling and trying to make a stronger showing.  I am soothed and smoothed.

All of life is a circle.  What goes around comes around.  What goes up, must come down.  That’s all I know.  I don’t understand sometimes but I’m all right with that.  In the words of Harry Chapin:

“All my life’s a circle, sunrise and sundown
The moon rolls through the nighttime, till the daybreak comes around
All my life’s a circle but I can’t tell you why
The season’s spinnin’ round again the years keep rollin’ by

It seems like I’ve been here before, I can’t remember when
But I got this funny feelin’ that I’ll be back once again
There’s no straight lines make up my life and all my roads have bends
There’s no clear-cut beginnings and so far no dead-ends”

So I lift myself up, square my shoulders back, quell my fears and reach for the stars.  I will not be drowned by fears.

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About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
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