Routines can be so tedious at times.  Ugh!  That is what I am feeling at this moment.  I am here, nevertheless, with my morning Chai.  I am feeling more myself.  It’s good to be able to sleep again laying down – two nights in a row now.

I had been sleeping in my recliner, being breathless and panicky laying down.  I was feeling attached to my Lazy Boy.  I was afraid of letting it go, but I survived.  How quickly habits and attachments set in.  It reminded me of a patient I had.  Her hospital stay was longer than expected.  She had one complication after another.  She finally went home after a lengthy stay.

She dropped by with a box of chocolates and thank you card after being home for a week. She was teary talking about being home.  She was anxious and missed the side rails on her bed and having curtains around.  She worried about being crazy.  I reassured her that she was not.  She had been so sick and having people around her, checking on her 24 hours/day for weeks.  It was a natural thing to feel a bit insecure, even if her husband and children were in the house.  She breathed a big sigh of relieve.  It mattered to her that I understood how she felt.  She left with a smile amid her tears.  I was happy to be able to do that.

Yesterday was a wordless day. It was a time to catch up with family.  It was time for lunch with my mother and sister.  I hadn’t seen them for awhile.  It was time to get reconnected. It was a time for my sister and I to give our mother some time, to listen to her stories and reminiscences.

And today is a picture-less day.  It’s not a day of creativity so I worked – at paying my bills and other necessities of life.  When you can’t create, you can work.  I can work at putting things in order.  I am tired.  I am worn out.  I am feeling life.  This is the best I can do today.  Tomorrow is another day.


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