Our household is up early this morning having gone to bed at 8:30 last night. That is what you do when you are sick, hoping to get better. It’s no wonder we’re wide awake before 5 am. You can only sleep so much, whatever state of health you are in, unless….
I’m sitting here with my hot Chai. I have on a sweater and a vest. A scarf is wrapped around my neck to keep out drafts. Still – I feel the shivers go through me now and again. My head still echoes but somehow feels lighter. My voice is hoarse in a different timbre. I am getting better. No visit to the doctor necessary.
I admit that I was down in the dumps a bit yesterday. Not feeling super duper can colour everything. Remember that! I was sick of everything – in my immediate world and beyond. I felt nauseated by the news, by people and relationships. To sum it neatly, I was nauseated by life.
I suppose you could say I have a bad attitude. I call it surrendering. It is good to give up sometimes. I hate those songs and cliches that say: smile the while you’re crying, smile even though your heart is breaking, blah, blah, blah. Enough of that horse shit! See, I tell you I’m giving up – fighting. I’m going with the Tao, the Way of my ancestors.
I’m been on the highway of resistance through most of my life. Let me change and try another way for awhile. I am weary of hurtling over obstacles. My being is drained by dark shadows. I put my trust in the spirits of my ancestors to lead me out to the light.
I feel their presence around me as I sit here tap, tapping my way out of the shadows and into the light. I have no need after all, of magic wands nor Wonder Woman’s golden tiara or bracelets. I have the magic of my words to wield the changes I desire.