Our household is up early this morning having gone to bed at 8:30 last night.  That is what you do when you are sick, hoping to get better.  It’s no wonder we’re wide awake before 5 am.  You can only sleep so much, whatever state of health you are in, unless….

I’m sitting here with my hot Chai.  I have on a sweater and a vest.  A scarf is wrapped around my neck to keep out drafts.  Still – I feel the shivers go through me now and again. My head still echoes but somehow feels lighter.  My voice is hoarse in a different timbre.  I am getting better.  No visit to the doctor necessary.

I admit that I was down in the dumps a bit yesterday.  Not feeling super duper can colour everything.  Remember that!  I was sick of everything – in my immediate world and beyond.  I felt nauseated by the news, by people and relationships.  To sum it neatly, I was nauseated by life.

I suppose you could say I have a bad attitude.  I call it surrendering.  It is good to give up sometimes.  I hate those songs and cliches that say: smile the while you’re crying, smile even though your heart is breaking, blah, blah, blah.  Enough of that horse shit!  See, I tell you I’m giving up – fighting.  I’m going with the Tao, the Way of my ancestors.

I’m been on the highway of resistance through most of my life.  Let me change and try another way for awhile.  I am weary of hurtling over obstacles.  My being is drained by dark shadows.  I put my trust in the spirits of my ancestors to lead me out to the light.

I feel their presence around me as I sit here tap, tapping my way out of the shadows and into the light.  I have no need after all, of magic wands nor Wonder Woman’s golden tiara or bracelets.  I have the magic of my words to wield the changes I desire.