Today is only Wednesday, but what the heck. I have my story of 100 words ready for Friday Fictioneers. I might as well put it up for you to see. We are hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, the lady who is addicted to purple. Won’t you come in, sit awhile and read our stories. Better yet, join us.
PHOTO PROMPT Copyright – Marie Gail Stratford
A hundred bottles on the wall.
A hundred bottles on the wall.
The refrain played over and over in her head. She saw a hundred green eyes winking at her, mocking her.
The dancers danced their dance on stage. The audience clapped and cheered in the celebration of the moment, in the appreciation of skillful maneuvers and flamboyant robes.
She sat silent, watching, not feeling. Not knowing how to feel. She will feel tomorrow.
Meanwhile, the music played, hips swayed and feet moved. Flashbulbs went off. Toasts were made.
She sat, silent and unobserved or so she thought. Tomorrow, tomorrow…..
onethousandandtwo 
I found this mystery intriguing.. I like the hints you are throwing in.. like felling tomorrow and not knowing she’s observed…
Thanks!
I don’t really know what’s going on, but it seems that something bad has happened and she’s trying to recover from it while everyone else is celebrating and life goes on.
You have two tenses here, the past (in the first paragraphs before “She sits…”) and the present (from there on.) You should use one or the other, so you could “The refrain plays”, “She sees”, and so on. Or you could used “She sat”, “music played” and so on. I hope this is helpful.
janet
Hi Janet, tenses drive me mad! I have corrected. Thanks for pointing it out. My hubby says if only I would ask him to edit, he would gladly do it. But I am stubborn sometimes.
🙂 I am sure I’m dyslexic when it comes to tenses.
Lily
Happens to lots of people. 🙂
Dear Hafong,
Let you husband edit. Who knows, after a while he’ll be submitting stories too. Good job.
Aloha,
Doug
Thank you, Doug! He can edit, but I’m not sure if it’s a good idea if he joins in. I’m not good about sharing my space. 🙂
Lily
Dear Lily,
Sounds like she had one bottle too many, If that’s the case she’s bound to feel tomorrow. 😉 Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
The poor thing seems very alone, neglected. Hope tomorrow brings better.
I’m sure it will, Patrick! Thanks.
Lily
I really like this… it could go either way… she could do something really bad or maybe something really good! Nice job.
Thanks! There’s always the possibility of good and bad.
Lily
it looks like a scene from a strip club, but i’m not really sure. 🙂
It can be anything you want! 🙂
I hope that whatever she feels – it’s a good thing.
She will.
Lily
So intriguing, Lily. I can’t wait to read more. LHN
Thanks!
Lily, To me also it sounds like she’s had some sort of shock and can’t fully feel things as yet. It sounds hopeful that she’ll recover.Good and well written story. I could feel how much she felt apart from the others. 🙂 —Susan
A very open-ended story, Lily. It leaves a lot to the imagination. Maybe I’ll figure it out–tomorrow.