THE DENTIST – Friday Fictioneers

It’s Friday and time for fiction of 100 words, hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

PHOTO PROMPT Copyright-Ted Strutz


She looked at the instruments lined up on the tray.  They glistened in the light.  How sharp their ends look!  She quivered in the chair. Her mouth was dry.  There was no need for paper apron around her neck.

She saw the wire mesh on the window.  Beyond her boardinghouse the ferry sat.  It will leave without her.  She choked back a sob. The tears trickled down her face.  She wiped them with the apron. She needed it after all.

He walked in, gloved and masked, and sat in front of her.  She grabbed his hand.

“Will you hurt me?”

About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
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27 Responses to THE DENTIST – Friday Fictioneers

  1. This was scary.. I feel it’s not just a dentist here..

  2. Lucy says:

    I’m wondering if he’s some sort of serial dentist.. Maybe she’s asking to be hurt. You wouldn’t catch me going to a dentist who conceals himself. Well done. Mysterious. Lucy

  3. Sandra says:

    Hmmm. This sounds pretty scary to me…

  4. Dear Lily,

    This feels like a small part of a much longer, ominous story. I have the feeling this is no ordinary dental checkup. Bucekt dibe,



  5. ahtdoucette says:

    I really love your imagery in the first paragraph, and the conclusion is so creepy. Well done.

  6. They really shouldn’t mask up before they enter the room!

  7. She wants to be hurt! Run, dentist, run.

  8. Lily, I’m not exactly sure what’s going on there, but it’s definitely creepy. O_o It stands well alone, but would be a great beginning for a longer story. Well written. 🙂 —Susan

    • hafong says:

      Thank you Susan! And thanks for the info about the other forum. I would like to write longer pieces a little later. I’m attention deficit. 🙂


  9. AnnIsikArts says:

    Your short sentences add to the suspense in this intriguing, ambiguous and mysterious tale, which raises more questions than answers. It is an opening of a bigger tale, or episode within one. I like this. Ann

  10. Nan Falkner says:

    Dear Lily, I’m scared just thinking about it! Very well done! I don’t know, but I get a distinct feeling that she maybe wants to be hurt? If true – she needs help, but I’m sure he (the dentist) can provide the “hurt” for her. Have a good week! Nan:)

  11. I find dentists almost as scary as torturers. You captured the feeling very well.

  12. gloved and masked is such a BAD way for a dentist to enter a room. (P.S. watch tense changes within your writing) Great short.

    • hafong says:

      Thanks for the reminder! I have a difficult time with the tense thing and not great with proof-reading. My partner nags me alot about it. 🙂 I’m an impatient writer.

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