Photo on 2011-02-02 at 18.45The nights are over and I am in recovery mode.  After all these years, I am still trying to figure out how best to exit the night shifts and into the day.  What is the best way to rejoin the rest of the world?  Of course now, most of the world is out of kelter, too.  We are all shifting in every which direction.  So why try?

However, not trying does not feel good.  So I give up sitting in front of the computer.  My hair is standing on end.  I cannot read.  Nothing sinks in.  My mouth feels like yesterday’s socks.  I am tired and restless at the same time.  I do not want to go to bed.  The sun is out and the world is moving and I feel I should, too.

In the end, I give in to what my body needs….sleep.  I brush my teeth and rinse the grit out of my mouth.  I lay down and sleep only lasted 3 hours.  Well, it is better than nothing.  Oh the joy of shift or social jetlag!  Thou is doing me in.

It is a week and a couple of day shifts later.   I am still feeling like hell.  What excuse do I use now…the weather and changing barometric pressures?  Why not.  End of April and I am still bundling up in winter coat and scarf one day.  The next, I’m in short sleeves and leveling the snow pile in the garden and I’m sweating.  Is that normal?

I woke up this morning with all my bones aching.  My fingers are swollen and my hands sore and throbbing.  I felt nauseous with pain.  I was whiny and miserable.  I felt like throwing a temper tantrum but I am just a little too old for that.   So a painkiller was the next best thing.  It saved the day and a few nerves.

The pill put out the fire in my hands and a small smile on my lips.  It eased my way out the door for a walk with Sheba in the morning and the afternoon.  I was not what you call a ball of fire but I did a little bit of this and a little bit of that.  The laundry got done.  My uniforms got ironed.  Yesterday’s shopping of meat got cleaned, packed, labeled and put in the freezer.  The floor did not get vacuumed but they were swept.  I remembered not to dwell on perfection.  I remembered to start where I am.  I remembered that I am not responsible for everything, that it’s not my fault that people are unhappy.  I remembered.

Now the day is done.  The sun has set and I am sipping wine.

About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
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