It’s good to keep this conversation going now that it’s started. If I stop now, it might be difficult to get it going again. Though it is a conversation of one, I like it. I’m not interrupted and I can’t be misunderstood. It is all here, in writing and in black and white. I hate it when I’m not heard. It is very hard to be and to find a good listener. So often when I’m needing just an ear, I get advice on what and where I have gone wrong. What I really want was someone to listen and hear me and to acknowledge my feelings and give me comfort. What I really don’t need was someone defending and explaining the other person’s actions, right or wrong. Then my heart is broken not once but twice.
I’m writing this for myself. I don’t want to be that person who doesn’t listen and hear. It’s a conversation I need to have with myself over and over. And then when my heart gets broken not to take it personally. They don’t know better. It is not their fault. It is not my fault. We are just imperfect human beings that still needs alot of learning.
I’m OK. I hope you are, too. Life is hard but it is so very good, too. I’m feeling a bit of joy, a tad of sadness sometimes. It is all very normal – the flux and flow of things. Some days are cloudy while others are sunny. We’re here today and gone tomorrow. So I’ve gotta live where I’m here, putting one foot in front of the other, tapping one letter, then two. Sometimes when I can’t write, I draw. Aren’t I fortunate? And sometimes I can do both at the same time. Double fortunate.