I’ve become a stranger to my own space. Now I don’t know how or where to start. How to get the words flowing again. So don’t expect much from me tonight. I’m just flexing and warming up my fingers to write a post a day for the Ultimate Blog Challenge in April. I wonder if I still have it in me. Once upon a time this was my come to place to air my triumphs and failures. Once upon a time it was my breathing space. What is it to me now?
I’ve become a stranger even to myself. Life seems strange and unreal. I feel and know I am getting older. I don’t believe in the getting better and wiser horse shit. What I feel is vulnerable. Things are changing at lightning speed and there’s no place for the getting older crowd. You can see and say that I’m not exactly in the best or cheerful form. I’m still the ever say-it-as-it-is girl/woman. I think I am a little bitter, too.
So what am I going to do about it all? Maybe it’s something I could work on in April. I could stand to have a make-over physically, spiritually and emotionally. I’ve already started on shedding a few pounds. And I could lighten my outlook of the world and everything in it. I’m feeling deaden and weighed down. It’s too heavy a subject to chew on right this minute. I shall put it on the shelf to rest till April fool’s. Maybe it’s a good time to read Dark Nights of the Soul.