It’s a cool -11℃ but sunny March morning. It’s a good thing we have a small heater in the greenhouse for periods like this. It’s keeping the temperature above 0. Right now it is 5.2℃. The tomatoes and cucumbers are appreciating it. I’m trying to move along, staying focused but already I’ve been sidetracked by a post on FB about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. I have no will power at all against the attraction of mindless scrolling. I’ve disentangle myself now that I’ve read the whole article. I have to get serious and write this post.

I am feeling so much better for having returned to my keyboard. Letting my thoughts run helter skelter is not helpful in these times or any time. They’ve made me feel more unsettled and helpless and hard to live with. I am one who needs to talk/write things out in hard copy, on the page. I prefer solo written conversation with just myself. Oh, I know, communication and talk it out, get it out in the open. I’ve seldom found that helpful but I’ve learned a few things from that process.

• Most people, myself included, do not listen or hear well. We can’t wait for the person to stop talking so we can tell our story.

• We all see and hear differently. Quite often I feel doubly wounded after telling my story. It is strange but the listener always seem to defend and take the other side. I am left feeling unheard and unseen.

I see those 2 things in myself, too. Now I try harder to just listen carefully first before talking. I try not to offer solutions because I don’t think that’s what is wanted or needed. A person wants and needs to be heard. When the person I’m talking to takes or tries to present the other side, I feel not only unheard but judged also. That is the why of my writing space here. It’s my sounding board of working things out. I hear me. I see me. I try not to judge me.

I’m almost at the end of this post. Feeling pride of accomplishment and of setting goals. When I break things down into do-ables, I do not feel so overwhelmed. The lunch is souping in the Instant Pot. My drawing/watercolour for #the100daychallenge is almost done. Doing one thing a day whether it be a drawing/painting, a blog post, a quilt square…works well for me. I feel soothed and smoothed typing on the keyboard, holding my pencil and paint brush. Working on a post or a painting is working on my life. Work brings everything to life.