August 1, another Saturday. 10 weeks since Sheba’s left this world. Time and life seem strange in this Covid-19 times. Perhaps we are more alert, paying more attention to what is here now. No more Saturday morning swims for this year. I can go swimming on weekdays. I have to book a week ahead. Only 8 people allow in the pool at a time for lane swimming. I will wait for now. There’s my morning bike rides and work in the gardens. Today I am working on decluttering my head and my desks.

I’m learning that everything takes time. What a surprise, eh? It’s already after 11 am. I’ve cleared off and dusted desktops and watered the plants. What a mess! I have to stop painting here or clean up right after. Ridding dried acrylic paint splashes on the iMac, glass surfaces and everything else is a chore. And why can’t I clean my brushes right after instead of leaving them in the dirty water? So many bad habits. No wonder my brain is like scrambled eggs. All the paper stuff are in a big box – to be sorted later.

It is a new day and a new month. I get a new chance to do better. I’m making time to gather my thoughts and energy to take another step forward. Surprising how those aha moments come to light the way when I stop, breathe and have a look. All I get when I rush around is confusion and reaction. What I want is calmness and thoughtfulness. It will give me time to be aware of what is going on. Time well spent leads to life well lived.

As you can see, I haven’t been rushing around. It is Monday night and I’m still working on this post. I wonder what happened to the rest of Saturday and Sunday. Well, at least my desk is still clean and somewhat orderly. I haven’t been here to mess it up. The truth is I’ve been caught up in Netflix’s TV series, Bloodline. I’ve been binge watching weekend nights. I’m up till 1 am. It’s no wonder I’m not too spry or impassioned to write.

It’s not a bad thing. It’s a break from my routine. A change is as good as a rest which is what I did this afternoon. I rested. I had a nap. I’ve been like an energized bunny all these years. I’m not fast but I’m doing something all the time. I seldom nap. I seldom do nothing. I’m always reading something. Mostly it is on my devices. My attention span will not allow me to hold a book for long. The things that happen when we scroll and scroll.

I’m adapting to life without the physical Sheba, without our walks and romps in the park. It’s ok. There are bike rides to the community garden. There’s the work in the yard and garden. I’m as busy as ever and she is always with me somehow. The house is easier to maintain. I don’t have to sweep and vacuum the floor every day. No more endless dog hair.

It’s getting late. I heard the pitter patter of a few raindrops. Then it stopped. I should stop, too. I’m calling an end to my useless mutterings.