I was lost in my dream last night. It shouldn’t be any surprise. I am most often lost in real life. So there I was, in dreamland, wandering up and down Idylwyld Drive, looking for my car. I had just left this place where I was waiting for my 10 am appointment with some woman – my therapist maybe. I was hours and I never did see her. Finally I left because it wasn’t making my anxiety better. By then it was after lunch. We were suppose to be going out of town.

I never did find my car. I thought I better phone what’s his name. I found 2 phones in my purse. They were full of cookie crumbs. I thought, Oh no, they could bugger up the phones. Then I wondered if I had checked the wrong phone and got my appointment date wrong. I crossed a mess of railroad tracks, looked ahead then behind. No car. I woke up feeling lost and unsettled.

I need a new dream. I’m tired of being lost, even in a dream. I’m feeling somewhat down in the mouth. You know what they say, when you smile, the whole world smiles with you. But when you cry, you’re by yourself, baby. Better buckle up, Buttercup!

I’m trying to pull myself up by the bootstraps. It’s not easy when I feel as grey as the sky outside. I’m trying hard, thinking back to days of sunshine, to my Saturday morning swims and how I thrilled learning to do the breaststroke. I think of how relaxed and fulfilled I felt as I sat down at A & W to my whole enchilada breakfast.

Then there’s my dream of being a hula queen. So far my best result is 40 revolutions at one go. That dream is still alive even though I am stalled and dull at the moment. Soon I will be able to rise above the greyness. Sheba and I will head towards the park. We will stop to pick up some delicious dessert for tomorrow eve. A treat is always good for a picker upper.

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