What can I do? What have I done?  I use these 2 questions when I am stuck and I’m stuck often. So I’ve just finished the dishes from lunch. I’m sitting here with my cuppa green tea. Thought I would try something new besides my usual Orange Pekoe, especially when I have a cupboard full of all sorts. Some of them are from Sri Lanka. I see that Orange Pekoe is not a bad choice. It has many health benefits. But I am going to shake up my taste buds and experiment with different teas as well as food. Green tea is even better than black tea because it is not as processed.

I’ve been reading the ebook, Ketotarian by Will Cole from the library. I found it very informative and useful so I ordered my own copy from Amazon. It has many recipes that I want to try out. I was going through my closet the other day and was dismayed to find that my waist line has increased many inches this past year. My belly fat is out of control and is hanging over the waist band. It is not helping my blue mood. It is another thing I can do to help myself. I do not need to let everything hang out. I hope the book will help me to keep some things in.

Life continues to be hard. It is the next morning. I have problems finishing things as well. I am trying my best. What I can do is make a list of what I have done.

• I’ve gotten up, dressed up and shown up here today.
• I do my qigong routine most mornings. I have done it today.
• I’ve folded and put away yesterday’s laundry.
• Sorted out my pants in the closet. Experienced items that did not give me joy. Those have been taken to Value Village.
• Struggled with sorting, cleaning and putting away seeds,pots and trays for starting the bedding plants.
• Struggled to be in the present moment every day.
• Taken Sheba to the dog park more often. It’s good for her and myself as well to mingle with other dogs and people.
• Do blocks of art. Mostly it’s been embroidery on the machine lately.

Questions and lists can prod me from being stuck. I have to make physical evidence of them. Having them in my head does no good. They would be fuel for rumination. I do that too much already. I have to get off my fat ass and work it! But what would be good to chew on is the 4 mantras that I’ve learned from Thick Nhat Hanh this morning.

1. Darling, I’m here for you.
2. Darling, I know you are there.
3. Darling, I know you suffer. I’m here for you.
4. Darling, I suffer. Please help me.