THE DETECTIVE IN ME

Today I’m still trying to ease my unease. The thing that works for me is to put it onto the page. I like to flex my fingers and let them tap on the keyboard. It’s like inhaling and exhaling. The brain is a wondrous and funny thing. Sometimes tiny bits of information creeps in and fear is instilled. It swirls around and manifests in annoying and debilitating ways. All of a sudden I find myself breathless. There is no air. I can’t expand my lungs. I have to reach back to a memory of another such occurrence. My brain and mind were in cahoots, playing a trick on me. I sit up tall, straighten my shoulders and breathe. I can!

This is what I have to do. Sometimes I have to play detective to find the source. I dismantle and cross out each possible cause. Eliminating stressors and things I am procrasinating about eases the tension in my body. I am doing something and not holding on to my unease. I give a sigh of relief with each one that I do. It builds confidence. There’s no need to be frozen with my anxiety and fears.

So now it is evening. I am sitting here with my lemon grass tea, inhaling and exhaling and expelling the stress of the afternoon. I had driven in the rain, in rush hour traffic at the worse time of the day. I survived the duties of the day. I can cross a few more items on my fear list. I can unfurrow and relax the lines across my forehead. I take a tylenol extra strength. Now I just have to bring in my bedding plants from the deck. It’s going down to 2 degrees tonight.

About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
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1 Response to THE DETECTIVE IN ME

  1. Take it easy and relax! You can do everything! 😊 Have a lovely weekend! 🌷

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