It is bloody hard every single Saturday morning to head out in the cold and dark for my weekly swim. What I know is that I always feel good after. I have been the lone swimmer all these weeks. If I don’t show up, they might cancel that time slot. So, I show up. I have gotten used having the whole pool to myself, I find myself resenting even the thought of sharing. I am tenacious and a little selfish.
That is just a little about me. I’m like a dog with a bone. I don’t let go. I don’t forgive easily. On the other hand, I have been generous with time, money and heart. I say ‘have been’ because I think I need some tempering. I overdo. It’s my dog with a bone trait. I don’t listen to myself. I don’t practice what I preach. Moderation in everything. In other words, I’m full of bullshit – and didn’t even know it.
What should I do now? The best advice I could give myself is not to rush off and do a complete makeover. Makeovers never work. Well, they might on Oprah and Super Soul Sunday. I’m just going to sit loose and not give a hoot so much. Maybe things will work out all by themselves and I will have a dream life – NOT. But, I am going to sit loose, not think, plan or do any kind of major surgery. I will listen to my forefathers and follow the Dao. It doesn’t look easy, but I will give it my best shot. My dog-with-a-bone trait will help.