It’s not a warm morning. It snowed somewhere in our fair province. The bedding plants will stay on the diningroom table today. They were shivering out on the deck yesterday. No point in challenging the weather. I will be content huddling inside with hot drinks and the fur baby. I did get a good night’s sleep but I’m still edgy and cranky. Trying to tap. it. out. Breathing. slowly. and. deliberately. I snapped at one of those phone people calling again about services for my computer. “I don’t have one!” It cuts the call short.
It’s not the way I want to be – talking and behaving badly. I come to this space to do it. It’s contained and stays on the page. How others view my words and actions are no business of mine. I will not see their facial expressions nor their body language. Of course they can always make a comment but I have the power of deleting if I don’t like it. In real life, vis-à-vis, I can’t do that. It’s most difficult to even get a I’m sorry. Only Brenda Lee is good at saying/singing it.
It is now evening. A whole day almost gone. The rain has smoothed my edges. I’m feeling mellow yellow. I haven’t been smoking or drinking yet either. It was probably from walking with Sheba in the rain. It could put dampers on nervous energy. For every problem there is a solution. You need to have the faith. It’s not easy. I know it from experience. If you keep plugging away with due diligence, you will get results.