DROPOUTS and FANTASIES

Today I felt like a dropout. I wanted to drop out of aerobics. I want to drop out of doing everything, even walking Sheba.  I didn’t though. What else would I do? I sucked it up, packed my gym bag and headed out the door. I have had this feeling on many occasions. There have been more than once that I’ve thought it would be nice if everything was taken care of for me. But who would want that job? It’s a nice fantasy but I really don’t think I would like to be so helpless.

I  toughed it out, putting my mind to do my best. I was moving my body. I was sweating. I was burning calories, making serotonin. I was getting a workout. It doesn’t have to be fun to be beneficial. Today, it wasn’t fun though Tabata is my favourite workout. Somedays are like that you know. Somedays everything feels like work. So I worked it! Taking Sheba out was groaning time again. Easter’s come and gone but it’s still damn cold and unpleasant.

Supper’s come and gone. I’m sitting here sipping my wine, trying to tap out an ending. I’m feeling a little more mellow. I’ve transplanted a few more broccoli seedlings, painted another index card and cut my hair. I got a load in the washer waiting for me to push on. Maybe I should try coming here in the morning for a change. My outlook is more positive. I wouldn’t be tapping my mood all over the page. I might have more ideas to share.

The thing is I like to sit with my tea  in the quiet of the morning. I like to enjoy the sweet nothings of that time before the day starts. After it does, everything rushes in to fill every space and corner. So for now, I shall keep it for myself.

 

 

About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
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