I can’t believe I’m in the same place. But it isn’t my fault. How often have I felt and said that? The other day cleaning out stuff, I found some scribbling dated 1988.
- I have trouble cleaning my house. I accumulate too many things
- I have trouble trusting other people with my feelings
- Right now I have a negative image with my head nurse which stems from the past
- I find it hard to take care of my car properly
- I can’t cook
- I need more time to pursue my goals
The list was from a course called Adventures in Attitude. From where I am sitting now, I can’t really say that I was successful or adventurous. I am mostly talk. I am very good at taking courses and reading self-help books. As for applying the principles, I’m not so sure. I’m still talking the same lingo. I still have that same problem of keeping my place tidy. I still have piles of clutter. I can’t seem get pass GO.
I am not a total failure. I have rid a few items on the list. I can cook now. I don’t worry about the car anymore. I take it in for servicing. I no longer worry about head nurses. I’m free of working and answering to authority figures. I have time and yet still not enough. As for trusting others with my feelings, I’m here talking, aren’t I?
Where to go from here? Seems like I need to work on #1. So simple and yet so hard. 29 years later, I’m still crying and whining about the same damn things. I better read Portia Nelson’s poem again. Better yet, if only I could DO the clearing and cleaning.
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
I walk down another street.
Another great one!!! Let that new Dyson do the job for you!!!! From what I see on IG you sure can cook!!!! You’re doing great🙋
Thanks Terry! Trying my hands at shovelling snow now. 🙂 Winter is here.
Lily