It’s Saturday morning. Cloudy and breezy upon wakening. I had toast with cherry jam. Thought I would treat myself royally today. Sheba is not the only queen in the house. I can sit here forever with my tea, my book and my thoughts. Sometimes it’s not so good to stay in my head long. It is full of paranoia and false stories. The sun is out. I must not tarry. I shall gather the forementioned queen. we can saunter down to our community garden and see how it is doing. Perhaps I can gather some greens for lunch. Be back in awhile.
I’m back. It’s more than awhile. It’s noon. I’ll try not to think of time slipping away but time well spent and enjoyed. It was. I killed several birds with one stone. Sheba and I had a mindful walk to the community garden. We took time to smell the flowers and chew some grass. It was quite wonderful that our footsteps and heartbeats were synchronized. We walked as one together and in rhythm. We got exercised. Home now with our harvest. Happy and pooped. For Sheba, it’s literal. I can sit now with my coffee and keyboard for awhile. Then lunch. What more could I ask for?
I know. There’s a whole world out there. There’s Folk Fest. There’s this. There’s that. I almost could feel the urge to do, to join, to be part of everything. When I had, I didn’t feel any more of. part. belonging. happier. satisfied. When I had been in the midst of it all, I was still searching. Where is it? What is it? Is this it? That’s all? Now, I tried to accept that I will get this feeling of need or craving for ‘the more, the thing that will make me happy ever after’. There’s no such thing. There’s no such place.
There is no point in trying to fill that longing space within or searching for happiness. I know it’s our human nature, this yearning for more. Instead, I will try to fill my stomach and appetite. I will get to know myself better in my life, my likes, dislikes, values, what works, what doesn’t. I will make it my adventure. It’s a continual journey. It requires me getting up, dressing up and showing up. I do every day. I love that slogan/ act. I love tap, tap, tapping on the keyboard, I love making index card art, I love, I love… What do you love?