Days 141- 145, December 17, 2016 @0300 am

I’m losing track of the days. Why is it when life happens, it happens in bunches? I’m not losing heart. I’m just a little bit fed up. I have spirit, just not the right kind at the moment. Please pardon me. What I know for sure is you cannot evade life. It finds you, no matter what crook or cranny you are hiding in. It demands to be lived. It demands you solve all the hitches that comes with it.

It’s a big gift, this life. I know it. I’m living it best I can, staring right at the heart of things, not avoiding anything, not expecting anything. I’m plodding along, pushing one foot in front of the other. I’ve hit a hard spot, a pothole in the road. But I’m out of the hole and doing down a different path. I’m learning after all these days in the year of doing different.

I’m not fighting the busy days. I take them as they come. I’m making use of these sleepless nights to enjoy the quiet. No use wrestling with myself in bed, checking time, time and time again. Worries and fears magnify behind my sleepless eyes and I am like a pretzel after a couple of hours. So here I am at my keyboard, tapping and breathing out my words. Sheba is ever present, watching over me.

I will have a little more herbal tea and go back to bed. The dishes are unloaded from the dishwasher. I’ve cleared off the dining table. I’ve done my qigong routine and feeling relax. Much better than struggling for sleep. I will try for better tomorrow. All things pass.