Day 78, October 8, 2016 @9:24 am

Staying with things is not my forte.  When things get tough/unpleasant, I like to jump ship and abandon.  I have a trail of unread books, unfinished projects and unresolved relationships.  Who doesn’t, though?  I’m proud to say that I have toughed it out and finished reading The Crime Writer – a novel about Patricia Highsmith.  She is described in the Guardian:

“She seduced a string of women, bred snails, suffered from severe depression, became an emotionally avoidant alcoholic and was variously viewed as kind, witty, and a nightmare.”

Nothing pleasant in the psychologic study of this woman or her life. It left me feeling as I had after watching the movie, The Talented Mr. Ripley.  But I stayed immersed in the unpleasant, dark and sinister possibilities of our humanness – what our thoughts can lead us to do. Not everything is life is pleasant. Everything is plausible.

I’m hoping this exercise of staying with the unpleasant/difficult can strengthen my fortitude and not run for the escape hatchet tout suite.  I wonder how many opportunities I have missed because I left/gave up too soon.

It’s tough showing up here every day even though I love the tap, tap of my keyboard.  But consistency makes it easier.  It’s becoming a habit.  Habits do make life easier but I still have to make a conscious effort.

What ship have you left lately?  I’m off to search for a pleasant read. It is Saturday, a day to sooth the self.