Day 68, September 28, 2016 @9:08

The days are ticking off, ever so slowly when you are conscious and counting. Doing different is difficult.  I am so wired in to my feelings and reactions. Moving out of my grooves and ruts takes more than minutes, hours, days, weeks and months.  I have to be patient.  I have to be innovative.  I have to be kind to myself.  No snapping of elastic band on my wrist.  I have to be trained like Sheba – on a reward system.  A Loonie(a dollar) into the teapot for each day completed with a blog post.  I’m worth that.

It’s an uncomfortable feeling to commit, to put it in writing.  I want to get up and make myself a cup of tea. But I won’t. I will sit and stay here with the discomfort. I will sit and finish even though my head is screaming for tea.  At least I’m not screaming for a cigarette as in the past.  That is proof that I can and have changed.

Another gorgeous day.  I am sitting in my beautiful space surrounded by light. It’s the light I must follow though our shadows are ever present.  I will choose the high ways whenever I am able to.  But I must accept the dark places and not punish and blame myself or others for falling.  I can always get up and dust myself off – again.

Have you fallen?  Did you hurt yourself?  Did you get up?